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Thanksgiving

11/28/2017

 
Last week was Thanksgiving, and it was great to spend some down time relaxing with family. As with many families, we have people of various opinions and persuasions, and my wife was concerned about things getting political and heated since we have both Trump lovers and Trump haters in our clan.

But that didn't happen. For one, the conversations never really veered toward politics (which was nice), but also because we were together in all our humanness. Seeing something outrageous on social media makes it easy to see people as caricatures, with a limited range of thoughts. And potentially a high supply of rage.
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Being together helps enforce that none of us is defined solely by whom we voted for, and even if we strongly disagree on some topics, there's a whole lot that we do agree on. Or at least can respect where the other person is coming from.

This reminder of our shared values and humanity is easy to lose in the national conversation, on the "news" programs that are little more than people shouting at each other.

Getting together face-to-face keeps things grounded and positive.

Elizabeth Lesser has a nice Ted Talk about her experiences taking "the Other" to lunch. Going to lunch with a coworker or other acquaintance you disagree with on some hot-button issue. And then having a dialogue. Like my family Thanksgiving, this will help illustrate the complexities and humanity in that caricature.

An important element of this lunch date--or any conversation with people with whom you disagree--is to listen. The goal is not to bang them over the head with why you're right, but rather to hear them out and understand their perspective. And likewise, for them to learn more about you and why you have your opinions.

Think of it not as an argument to be won, but as a chance to increase your understanding. Which also happens to be my goal for this site: to foster that same kind of interaction and meaningful dialogue. Replacing shouting matches with civility is certainly something I'll be thankful for.
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    Moderate beliefs, strong opinions. With the goal of bringing us together.

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